Awkward Party

With a man cave in the basement, I don’t have to leave the house. Socializing has its limits and I prefer to watch a game. I can drink beer, my favorite beverage, and veg out as much as I want. But duty calls when you have friends. A couple I know were throwing a party and I was certainly expected to attend. I do like them, but it seemed like a very feminine event as he described it. The wife is pregnant and everyone is going to want to listen to the baby’s heartbeat with a stethoscope. It is, in effect, a kind of baby shower with a new twist. My friend mentioned that I should bring one if I had it, to save them from having to buy more from Now who keeps one at home other than a doctor or nurse? I laughed out loud. He agreed and arranged to borrow some from the nearest medical center. They had a batch of old ones they weren’t using. They still worked of course. No one would go home without having heard the precious fetal noise.

It was a very awkward situation to say the least. Everyone was gathered around the enormous wife. The baby was showing to the max. The due date was a week away. The women were ecstatic and didn’t hesitate to don stethoscopes. While it was a clever idea, it was not for me. I didn’t want to get that close to a woman’s “stomach” and pretend to be overjoyed at the impending blessed event. The small talk was stifling as women compared their birth experiences and child raising tips. Oh, how I longed to be in the man cave with a bottle of the best brew. Instead I stayed until the end. I am a good sport although not into couples’ entertainment. It would only be worse if we played games. I know that they put chocolate in diapers to imitate poop and ask guests to guess the expected weight. Gifts are opened and the ribbons are made into a mock bridal bouquet. You play charades focusing on the theme of childbirth and you eat pretty iced cupcakes and open your favors.

The man cave is the opposite and the epitome of what men want. There is a well-stocked fridge and a wine rack. Snacks like chips, nuts and pretzels fill the drawers in back of the bar. There is a hot plate and coffee maker and a choice of teas for the rare drinker. On one side of the bar is a shelf with neatly stacked DVDs. My movie collection is modest and mostly focuses on sports. There are action films and comedies, and few romances. I have created a unique space where my friends and I feel sublimely comfortable. A box of Havana cigars fits right in as does a rack of bottled water. You don’t have to get up and go upstairs to get anything at all. The room has its own heat and air controls and can be maintained at the optimum temperature.